Haven't blogged in a while...

So this is my first time using my phone for blogging via Mobile I feel so techy... Don't be fooled though I am utterly technologically illiterate. Anyways I'm getting my hair done and the hair dryer sounds like a spaceship I feel like fucking captain kirk... That's a huge honor to be bestowed on a Midwestern nerd. Anyways life is pretty busy and complicated right now. Schools almost out and I'm cruising toward my senior year! Thus my utter confusion! So this summer I'm going to fuck shit up how about you? ;)

little things in the midwest

Over spring break I had the pleasure of going to Minnesota with my boyfriend of course we went to the Mall of America but that was actually just a huge bust it was fun and all but it was nothing compared to the things that are not glamorized and just are... the best part of my trip was hopping on a train with no idea where the hell we were going and just saying we wanted to go downtown with no premeditated idea of what we wanted to do we got down there and decided we were hungry so we began roaming and then we found it a little diner that looked so run down but we took our chances and went on in and it was worth it we were welcomed with warm and well toothless smiles from the cook who conversed with us while making our burgers and fries right in front of us... We saw a gay couple laughing and eating in this safe place we were off the grid and nothing mattered for a second we weren't any one we were a part of something bigger a community and they didn't even ask us our names they didn't treat us as "stupid punk ass kids" we were equal now we were pleased with this tiny little diner that looked like it was straight out of the 1950's but that was not the best part... when we tasted the food I can hands down with out a shadow of a doubt say it was the meal I've ever tasted from the burger straight down to the fries. The next day we went to a different diner called "The Nook" it was featured on diners, drive ins and dives but it was nothing compared to what we had the day before. At that very moment it occurred to me that sometimes we make things out to be the greatest thing in the world from what everyone else says everything is so planned out and calculated from what everyone tells us is good not just in food or in tourist attractions but to the way we live our lives so don't go looking for this diner because frankly I won't tell you what it's called it's up to you to explore on your own and find "your" diner something that is the best even down to the fries

emotional break down

so what Ive learned from crying the past half hour is to calm the fuck down... Everything will be alright! here I'll break down the normal freak out break down

1) say out loud what youre freaking out about
2) at this state don't confront any one tact is an art and very logical
3) write it out
4) if it sounds bat shit crazy it probably is
5) if its legit tear her fucking face off tomorrow

Jealousy and the female mind

truthfully as a female in your teenage years you've done this if you say you haven't your fucking lying and a joke lying to yourself like that. Another girl looks at my boyfriend on a day I am feeling any bit self conscious I get hateful urges to rip off her tits (especially if she has cleavage) . Now there is no way to even say that this is the slightest bit reasonable but it makes you feel better doesn't it ladies. On a good day when a girl feels damn sexy it still doesn't matter the envy may be a little toned down but it's still there. The need for this kind of attention isn't because we think were ugly often times it's because we want to be your one and only. As sappy as it sounds it's true in a sense we feel the need to cling on to you with all we got and the harder we cling it just means the more scared we are of losing that boy... It's the reason why girls become crazy... because we are to afraid to lose you... and yes this is directed at you

God why is this happening

So I am so fed up with every one and everything I just want to cry and hold a pillow and scream I can't help that everything has gone to shit. You know that feeling like no matter what you do it's not going to get any better. Im not sucidal or anything I just want it to get a little brighter and for things to get better but no they fucking don't do they? I know they will we all have those days right. I just am sick of everyone saying that highschool is the best years of there lives no it's not and if it is you must have a pretty shitty life. at least I have a boyfriend who cares about me and a cat so Im not doing too bad oh and I have that one gay male friend so I think Im doing alright every highschool girl needs a gay male...and a cat. You get a boyfriend as an added bonus... Bone-us I couldn't help myself I just had to.

Book characters?

So anyways I am just wondering if you could be any book character you wanted who would it be? I would be Jonas from the Giver

It's not about sexual orientation it's about how you do your hair.

 I'm the girl who every one thinks is gay... and I'm defiantly straight  What exactly makes you gay anyways because I thought it meant liking having sex with the same sex but apparently it's about how you do your hair.