emotional break down

so what Ive learned from crying the past half hour is to calm the fuck down... Everything will be alright! here I'll break down the normal freak out break down

1) say out loud what youre freaking out about
2) at this state don't confront any one tact is an art and very logical
3) write it out
4) if it sounds bat shit crazy it probably is
5) if its legit tear her fucking face off tomorrow

Jealousy and the female mind

truthfully as a female in your teenage years you've done this if you say you haven't your fucking lying and a joke lying to yourself like that. Another girl looks at my boyfriend on a day I am feeling any bit self conscious I get hateful urges to rip off her tits (especially if she has cleavage) . Now there is no way to even say that this is the slightest bit reasonable but it makes you feel better doesn't it ladies. On a good day when a girl feels damn sexy it still doesn't matter the envy may be a little toned down but it's still there. The need for this kind of attention isn't because we think were ugly often times it's because we want to be your one and only. As sappy as it sounds it's true in a sense we feel the need to cling on to you with all we got and the harder we cling it just means the more scared we are of losing that boy... It's the reason why girls become crazy... because we are to afraid to lose you... and yes this is directed at you

God why is this happening

So I am so fed up with every one and everything I just want to cry and hold a pillow and scream I can't help that everything has gone to shit. You know that feeling like no matter what you do it's not going to get any better. Im not sucidal or anything I just want it to get a little brighter and for things to get better but no they fucking don't do they? I know they will we all have those days right. I just am sick of everyone saying that highschool is the best years of there lives no it's not and if it is you must have a pretty shitty life. at least I have a boyfriend who cares about me and a cat so Im not doing too bad oh and I have that one gay male friend so I think Im doing alright every highschool girl needs a gay male...and a cat. You get a boyfriend as an added bonus... Bone-us I couldn't help myself I just had to.

Book characters?

So anyways I am just wondering if you could be any book character you wanted who would it be? I would be Jonas from the Giver

It's not about sexual orientation it's about how you do your hair.

 I'm the girl who every one thinks is gay... and I'm defiantly straight  What exactly makes you gay anyways because I thought it meant liking having sex with the same sex but apparently it's about how you do your hair.

by the way if you like brutal honesty check this shit out http://www.postsecret.com/

You've seen this in any teen movie

okay I just want to make this clear I'm not invisible but, I'm not top shit either. I've seen this in movies before and yeah it's pretty stereotypical but I thought if I could why not make my life like a teenage movie because it always seems to work out in the end for the main character in movies so why not... okay so maybe my logic is a bit flawed because honestly it's all just shit that never happens. I mean come on even "reality" television is a fucking joke were not keeping up with the kardashians were on our knees worshiping them and come on life can't even be that great for them I mean Kim got fat... I have nothing against heavy people like if it makes you happy do it. I would rather be happy with thunder thighs than beautiful and hate myself and my life. So on to the real stuff I am so fed up with high school. I don't hate everyone I just don't like a majority of the population and being a junior really sucks. Actually living at home sucks I can't wait to move out even being at home is like prison not that my family is super dysfunctional crack addicts it's just a prison and leaving is even worse... It's like a fucking interrogation I'm not a terrorist calm the fuck down. I can't wait till college honestly I can't wait to come back to my place shit faced drunk to the point where it's a struggle to get up the stairs and no one can say shit about it. So if anyone is reading this I'll ask the question, what makes you happy be it cigarettes, cocaine, sex, or booze what is it? believe me if it makes you happy then whats so "wrong" about it...